The Start...

I've worked out since I was 14 years old. VHS recordings of "Gilad's Bodies In Motion" from ESPN and my father's doorway-mounted chin-up bar provided those early workouts. When I asked my parents for my first weight set for my 15th birthday, they eagerly gave in. I'm sure this was a welcome request from a son, who up until that point had only shown interest in the latest Madonna video or clothing from the International Male catalogue. I worked out in my bedroom like a madman, but made little headway in the way of muscle gain. The key factor ofnutrition was missing, I didn't enjoy eating things that were good for me as a kid. I graduated from high school 5'6 and 119lbs. You can't build muscle on Cool Ranch Doritos and Dr. Pepper.

I moved into my own apartment when I came to Kansas City to attend UMKC. This gave me an excellent opportunity to plan my own meals and focus on good tasting nutrition. I worked out 5 days a week, two times a day on most of those days and gained 50 pounds of (mostly) muscle in just under two years. I was so proud of myself, my best friend Chadwick can still remember the night we were hanging out at The Cabaret (local bar) and I looked in a mirror by the bathroom and noticed that I had actually "grown an ass". I wouldn't shut up about it. I'm sure all of the vodka cranberries added to our excitement. My family and friends were proud of me... at that point I felt like it was the proudest my parents had ever been of me. Although my mother did mention more than once, "you waddle like a duck" due to my large thighs rubbing. I've continued to lift until June of this year.

Now fifteen years later, I look back at all of the time I've spent in the gym, the supplements I've taken and mostly at all of the injuries I've suffered... the most recent an old neck injury that reappeared early this summer causing incredible pain, my hand to go numb and leaving me unable to workout. I'm currently going through physical therapy and quickly approaching the day that I'll be able to return to the gym. This little break from fitness ( I am allowed to go on walks) has given me plenty of time to think. Unfortunately, I now realize my motivation to "get big" and later stay big didn't come from the healthiest of places. I wish I could say that it was health motivated, but it came from a place of insecurity and a constant need for approval and attention.

A little older and more confident I'm ready to start working out again. This time focusing on my health, staying off of diabetic, cholesterol and high blood pressure medications (it's in the genes) and having the best adult life that I can possibly have. The purpose of this blog is to share my journey and share some of the information I've learned, mostly over these last few months of "down time".